What Burnout Really Looks Like (And Why It’s Not Your Fault)

helping professionalsburnout
Written By Roxane Robotham

Burnout isn’t about personal weakness or poor time management. It’s a physiological and emotional response to chronic, unrelenting stress, especially for those in helping roles. If you're feeling detached, depleted, or like you're failing at keeping up, it’s not a flaw. It’s your nervous system calling out for care.

What Burnout Really Means
Burnout is classified by the World Health Organization (2019) as an occupational phenomenon, made up of:

  • Emotional exhaustion

  • Depersonalization or cynicism

  • A sense of reduced personal achievement

This isn’t just feeling tired—it’s a state of dysregulation. According to Polyvagal Theory (Porges, 2011), prolonged stress can shift us into either a hypervigilant (fight/flight) or shut-down (freeze) state.

Why Helpers Burn Out More
Those drawn to caregiving professions—therapists, social workers, teachers, nurses—often carry both professional and emotional loads. Empathy fatigue, boundary erosion, and perfectionism are common contributors.

💡 Dr. Gabor Maté (2003) describes how chronic people-pleasing and self-suppression in childhood often lead to adult burnout in caregiving professions.

Hidden Signs of Burnout

  • Flatness or numbness, not just tiredness

  • Irritability or withdrawal from relationships

  • Forgetfulness or difficulty concentrating

  • Dreading things you once enjoyed

What Actually Helps

  • Co-regulation: Safe relationships where you’re seen and heard—this might look like regularly debriefing with a trusted peer, connecting with a supervisor who gets your work, or even spending time with someone who offers non-judgmental presence.

  • Somatic practices: Simple grounding exercises like placing your feet flat on the floor, slowly naming things you can see, hear, and feel, or using breath to signal safety back to your body.

  • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Clarifying values and making space for uncomfortable thoughts without letting them drive your actions. Journaling or using values cards can help identify what matters most.

  • Boundaries that honour your capacity—not just your calendar: Try limiting back-to-back sessions, using auto-responders to manage communication, or saying "not right now" to extra commitments that don’t align with your core focus.


Burnout doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’ve been strong for too long without enough support. Healing starts by naming it and knowing you’re not alone.

If you’re recognising yourself in this post, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to navigate burnout on your own. I offer trauma-informed therapy and reflective supervision designed to support helping professionals just like you. Reach out today to explore how we can work together.

References:

  • WHO (2019). Burn-out an “occupational phenomenon”

  • Maté, G. (2003). When the Body Says No

  • Porges, S. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory

  • Hayes, S. C., et al. (2012). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Roxane Robotham
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